Saturday, July 14, 2012
Friday, July 13, 2012
Article Woh Hai
ARTICLE WOH HAI JO AKSAR PHASTA HAI
INTERVIEWS KE SAWAAL MEIN
BADI COMPANIYON KI CHAAL MEIN
BOSS AUR CLIENT KE BAWAAL MEIN
ARTICLE WOH HAI JO PAK GAYA HAI
MEETINGS KI JHELAI MEIN
SUBMISSIONS KI GEHRAI MEIN
TEAMWORK KI CHATAI MEIN
ARTICLE WOH HAI JO LAGA RAHTA HAI
SCHEDULE KO FAILANE MEIN
TARGETS KO KHISKAANE MEIN
ROZ NAYE-NAYE BAHANE MEIN
ARTICLE WOH HAI JO
LUNCH TIME MEIN BREAKFAST KARTA HAI
DINNER TIME MEIN LUNCH KARTA HAI
COMMUTATION KE WAQT SOYA KARTA HAI
ARTICLE WOH HAI JISE INTEZAAR HAI
WEEKEND NIGHT MANANE KA
BOSS KE CHHUTTI JAANE KA
STIPEND KI KHABAR AANE KA.
& LAST
C.A WOH HAI JO KHOYA HAI
REMINDERS KE JAWAAB ME
NA MILNE WALE HISAAB ME
BEHTAR BHAVISHYA KE KHWAAB MEIN......
INTERVIEWS KE SAWAAL MEIN
BADI COMPANIYON KI CHAAL MEIN
BOSS AUR CLIENT KE BAWAAL MEIN
ARTICLE WOH HAI JO PAK GAYA HAI
MEETINGS KI JHELAI MEIN
SUBMISSIONS KI GEHRAI MEIN
TEAMWORK KI CHATAI MEIN
ARTICLE WOH HAI JO LAGA RAHTA HAI
SCHEDULE KO FAILANE MEIN
TARGETS KO KHISKAANE MEIN
ROZ NAYE-NAYE BAHANE MEIN
ARTICLE WOH HAI JO
LUNCH TIME MEIN BREAKFAST KARTA HAI
DINNER TIME MEIN LUNCH KARTA HAI
COMMUTATION KE WAQT SOYA KARTA HAI
ARTICLE WOH HAI JISE INTEZAAR HAI
WEEKEND NIGHT MANANE KA
BOSS KE CHHUTTI JAANE KA
STIPEND KI KHABAR AANE KA.
& LAST
C.A WOH HAI JO KHOYA HAI
REMINDERS KE JAWAAB ME
NA MILNE WALE HISAAB ME
BEHTAR BHAVISHYA KE KHWAAB MEIN......
Thursday, July 12, 2012
IFRS 69 - Accounting for Girlfriends (prank)
IFRS 69-Accounting for Girl Friends
Objective:
The objective of IFRS 69 is to prescribe the accounting treatment for Girl friends. The principal issues are the timing of recognition of a female friend as a girl friend, the no. of days the relationship can be carried on and any write down in this romantic relationship. It also provides guidance on the methods to be employed to make GF.
Scope:
This IAS applies to all GF’s except those whose father, brother, ex-boyfriends or prospective boyfriends are working in police, army, intelligence agencies or political organizations or 6+ feet tall, have muscular body and know kung fu, judo or any other marshal art.
Definitions:
The following terms are used in this Standard with the meanings specified:
- LOVE is a serious mental disease, mostly found in old Indian movies, dramas and Urdu literature.
- FLIRTING is the modern form of love; this disease came from Hollywood movies, new Indian movies, internet, mobile phones, and English literature.
- MARRIAGE is a long term liability as a result of PAST events that is expected to be settled by increasing the population, decreasing the health and money.
-GIRL FRIEND is a current asset as a result of past efforts and events that is probable to generate future dates, physical contact and gifts. If not properly handled may become long-term liability i.e. wife.
-BOYFRIEND-SPECIFIC VALUE is the present value of the future dates that a boyfriend expects to realize from continuing use of the GF over its useful life and from its disposal to his another friend at the end of the flirting term
-FLIRTING TERM is the higher of the following:
-from your first conversation till the time the GF father catches you
-from the time of your first date till your GF get married with another person ,in which case she will become your ex-GF.
-from the time of your first date till you get married with your GF, afterward it will become a suffering term.
RECOGNITION
A girl shall be recognized as a girl friend if, and only if:
(a) it is probable that future physical benefits associated with the girlfriend will flow to the boyfriend,
(b) no possibility of GF becoming a long term liability (wife) exists and
(c) the expenditures to be incurred (e.g. in respect of gifts, cards etc ) can be measured reliably Female Cousins, younger sisters, and other female friends associated with the girlfriend should not be recognized. However, beautiful and bold ones should be declared in the flirting statement if and only if it is probable that they are expected to result in prospective girlfriends.
MEASUREMENT OF USEFUL LIFE OF GF
All the following factors shall be considered in determining the useful life of a GF:
(a) Expected “usage” of the girlfriend.
(b) Expected “physical” wear and tear, which depends on “operational” factors such as the number of “shifts” the GF is to be used.
(c) Technical or commercial obsolescence arising from changes in fashion or “service output” of the GF.
(d) “Legal” or similar limits on the “use” of the GF.
DERECOGNITION
The Girl Friend shall be derecognized:
1. at the end of the useful life of GF or flirting term whichever is earlier,
2. when no future benefits are expected from her or her disposal or 3.
3. when remote possibility of GF becoming long term liability occurs.
DISCLOSURE
The flirting statement shall disclose, for each “class” of GF:
a) Total no. of GFs with:
-age of GF
-complexion, face cut
-the useful life of each GF
-email address, residential address and mobile no. of each GF
-any “special” benefits that may have been derived from the GF
b) A reliable estimate of the boy friend regarding no. of expected GFs for each class of GF.
c) A reliable estimate of the expenditures to be incurred (e.g. in respect of gifts, cards etc) for each class of GF.
Objective:
The objective of IFRS 69 is to prescribe the accounting treatment for Girl friends. The principal issues are the timing of recognition of a female friend as a girl friend, the no. of days the relationship can be carried on and any write down in this romantic relationship. It also provides guidance on the methods to be employed to make GF.
Scope:
This IAS applies to all GF’s except those whose father, brother, ex-boyfriends or prospective boyfriends are working in police, army, intelligence agencies or political organizations or 6+ feet tall, have muscular body and know kung fu, judo or any other marshal art.
Definitions:
The following terms are used in this Standard with the meanings specified:
- LOVE is a serious mental disease, mostly found in old Indian movies, dramas and Urdu literature.
- FLIRTING is the modern form of love; this disease came from Hollywood movies, new Indian movies, internet, mobile phones, and English literature.
- MARRIAGE is a long term liability as a result of PAST events that is expected to be settled by increasing the population, decreasing the health and money.
-GIRL FRIEND is a current asset as a result of past efforts and events that is probable to generate future dates, physical contact and gifts. If not properly handled may become long-term liability i.e. wife.
-BOYFRIEND-SPECIFIC VALUE is the present value of the future dates that a boyfriend expects to realize from continuing use of the GF over its useful life and from its disposal to his another friend at the end of the flirting term
-FLIRTING TERM is the higher of the following:
-from your first conversation till the time the GF father catches you
-from the time of your first date till your GF get married with another person ,in which case she will become your ex-GF.
-from the time of your first date till you get married with your GF, afterward it will become a suffering term.
RECOGNITION
A girl shall be recognized as a girl friend if, and only if:
(a) it is probable that future physical benefits associated with the girlfriend will flow to the boyfriend,
(b) no possibility of GF becoming a long term liability (wife) exists and
(c) the expenditures to be incurred (e.g. in respect of gifts, cards etc ) can be measured reliably Female Cousins, younger sisters, and other female friends associated with the girlfriend should not be recognized. However, beautiful and bold ones should be declared in the flirting statement if and only if it is probable that they are expected to result in prospective girlfriends.
MEASUREMENT OF USEFUL LIFE OF GF
All the following factors shall be considered in determining the useful life of a GF:
(a) Expected “usage” of the girlfriend.
(b) Expected “physical” wear and tear, which depends on “operational” factors such as the number of “shifts” the GF is to be used.
(c) Technical or commercial obsolescence arising from changes in fashion or “service output” of the GF.
(d) “Legal” or similar limits on the “use” of the GF.
DERECOGNITION
The Girl Friend shall be derecognized:
1. at the end of the useful life of GF or flirting term whichever is earlier,
2. when no future benefits are expected from her or her disposal or 3.
3. when remote possibility of GF becoming long term liability occurs.
DISCLOSURE
The flirting statement shall disclose, for each “class” of GF:
a) Total no. of GFs with:
-age of GF
-complexion, face cut
-the useful life of each GF
-email address, residential address and mobile no. of each GF
-any “special” benefits that may have been derived from the GF
b) A reliable estimate of the boy friend regarding no. of expected GFs for each class of GF.
c) A reliable estimate of the expenditures to be incurred (e.g. in respect of gifts, cards etc) for each class of GF.
0.25 ki Kimat
Exams karib hain.....
Hum marks ke garib hain....
Bhale hi aaj kal pacchis (0.25) paise
ki kimat nahi.....
Kisi CPT dene wale student ko
pucho -0.25 kitna bhari nuksaan
hai.....
CPT walo duniya ko phir se 0.25 ki
kimat sikha do....!!
Hum marks ke garib hain....
Bhale hi aaj kal pacchis (0.25) paise
ki kimat nahi.....
Kisi CPT dene wale student ko
pucho -0.25 kitna bhari nuksaan
hai.....
CPT walo duniya ko phir se 0.25 ki
kimat sikha do....!!
Bonus To Article
CA to his article : "Tumne is saal
mehnat se kaam kiya.. islie 5,000
kaa
bonus cheque de rahaa hu...
Article : "ohhhhh !!!! thank u sirrrrr
"
CA continues, : " agar isi tarah
kaam
karoge agle saal is par sign bhi kar
doonga....." :D
mehnat se kaam kiya.. islie 5,000
kaa
bonus cheque de rahaa hu...
Article : "ohhhhh !!!! thank u sirrrrr
"
CA continues, : " agar isi tarah
kaam
karoge agle saal is par sign bhi kar
doonga....." :D
Article Ki Pehechan Hai
PADHAI KI MAR SE, CA KE
ATHYACHAR SE,
INCOME TAX OFFICE MEIN HO RAHE
BHRASHTACHAR SE,
JO PARESHAN HAI VO HI ASLI "CA
ARTICLE" KI PEHCHAN HAI .
ATHYACHAR SE,
INCOME TAX OFFICE MEIN HO RAHE
BHRASHTACHAR SE,
JO PARESHAN HAI VO HI ASLI "CA
ARTICLE" KI PEHCHAN HAI .
Kiss And Slap
A CA, his Article, one old
woman and her young daughter
are traveling in a train and during
the course of time get themselves
introduced to each other and
become temporary friends. The
train goes through a tunnel and it
gets completely dark. Suddenly
there is a kissing sound and then
a slap! The train comes out of the
tunnel. The women and the
Article are sitting there looking
perplexed. The CA is
bending over holding his face,
which is red from an apparent
slap.
All of them remain diplomatic and
nobody says anything.
The Old woman is thinking:
These CA are all crazy after
girls. He must have kissed my
daughter in the tunnel. Very
proper that she slapped him.
The Young girl is thinking:
The CA must have tried to
kiss me but kissed my mother
instead and got slapped.
The CA is thinking:
Damn it. My Article must have
kissed the young girl. She might
have thought it was me and
slapped me.
The Article is thinking:
If this train goes through another
tunnel I will make another kissing
sound and slap my CA
again.
woman and her young daughter
are traveling in a train and during
the course of time get themselves
introduced to each other and
become temporary friends. The
train goes through a tunnel and it
gets completely dark. Suddenly
there is a kissing sound and then
a slap! The train comes out of the
tunnel. The women and the
Article are sitting there looking
perplexed. The CA is
bending over holding his face,
which is red from an apparent
slap.
All of them remain diplomatic and
nobody says anything.
The Old woman is thinking:
These CA are all crazy after
girls. He must have kissed my
daughter in the tunnel. Very
proper that she slapped him.
The Young girl is thinking:
The CA must have tried to
kiss me but kissed my mother
instead and got slapped.
The CA is thinking:
Damn it. My Article must have
kissed the young girl. She might
have thought it was me and
slapped me.
The Article is thinking:
If this train goes through another
tunnel I will make another kissing
sound and slap my CA
again.
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